Hello, old friend

Goals are funny aren't they?  Funny as in this one has been sitting here for almost a year!  Ugh!

But today I had an interesting encounter.  I was finishing up a class when their visiting reader arrived.  He informed me that he was a writer.  And he reminded me about the most important fact about writers: they write.  Isn't that what I created this little space for?  Well, I best be getting back to it!

So what do I want to say as a writer?  I guess I'd like to write things for children that they'll want to read.  I spent the afternoon going over writing prompts that had students analyzing writing pieces that just seemed so irrelevant to them.  But the question that remains is what DO kids want to read?  I mean, its got to be relate-able, fun and hopefully something worthwhile to learn.  But one of my reflections today was that anything more than 140 characters is "too much".  Heck, we've even become so illiterate as society that social media now has just photo sharing sites a la Instagram.  Don't get me wrong, I love a good IG account, but where is the reading?  Where is the literacy?  Where is the learning?  What will these things look like in one hundred years?

What words do I want to leave for the future? What about you?

Strength When You Don't Think You Have Any

from February 2014
We all know those days; the kind that make you regret getting out of bed that morning.  The days where if it can it most likely will go wrong; or so it seems.  I was having one of those days earlier this week.  But I had committed to a gym class that night and said I might as well go...
This particular class is by no means easy, but it is usually fun.  The instructor is incredibly motivating and gives us an incredible workout.  She shows up with a swollen eye.  Not pinkeye mind you, but still an eye that looks fairly uncomfortable.
Class begins and we begin to sweat.  Then something funny happened -- class was over.  No, it wasn't a 5 minute class, but it sure felt that way.  Over the course of an hour, I sweat out all the anxiety, anger and general "pissed-off-ness" of the day.  Routines that I normally found difficult seemed to fly by.  It was only after the class that I realized that it is in those moments when you think you've given it your all and you're about to just stop that there is always just this much more left in your tank.  And it is that which is left in your tank that will help you fuel back up.  I left the gym that night with a renewed spring in my step and ready to take on whatever would come my way the next day... And that is another story entirely!
Have you ever had one of those "dig deep" moments only to come out the other side with a renewed energy?

Trying to Keep Diligent

Ok, another post -- think that makes two this week!

Why I Do What I Do...
There was a recent exchange I saw on Facebook about why teachers leave the profession.  I could sit here and write all the reasons that are commonly cited: pressures, politics, testing, etc.  There are many reasons that a teacher would leave teaching.  There are many nights I come home exhausted and sick of my job.  For those nights, I submit the following reasons why I stay with this insanity:

Those moments that kindergartners come up to you and hug you like you're their favorite teddy bear because you are, according to them "the best teacher".

Looking into a students eyes during a lesson and realizing that they "get it".

Classes that can get into the meat of a book and discuss it on multiple levels.

The feeling of utter exhaustion at the end of a good day when you know you've made a difference.

Colleagues that support you and share their ideas with your to improve your craft.

True professional development where new ideas are shared.

Getting to read great books to share with students.

The moments of pure "un-academic" joy that you get to share with students.

Messages from parents thanking your for getting your child to where they are and being a part of their success.

I could go on with many similar reasons why I love my job.  But for me, it has always and will always go back to the kids.  Teachers are vilified and often made to made the scapegoats for the ills of society.  But I and many other teachers know the truth.  We make a difference.  We are part of helping to change children's lives.  Even if it may not seem it everyday, we change things.

Re-do: Week of Goals

So much for last week's goal... Snow and sickness got in the way....
On to this week: 3 posts?  I hope so!

Today finds me sitting at my dining table (our apartment doesn't have a separate kitchen table - its a one stop shop table) and really taking in the moment.  The kids are watching TV, cup of coffee next to me and one of those rare quiet times.  I've started at least two different posts and thought both were too sappy.  Oh, and that quiet was quickly ended by the tugging on my arm looking for something, although I'm not sure what, from my little one.  But it is in those small, little moments of quiet that I can find just a moment to reflect on how happy I really am.  I've been reading The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin and really meditating on where my own life falls in terms of happiness.  The realization I've come to is that I am happy, but need to do a much better job at expressing that happiness.  A note I made in the pages is that happiness expressed is not happiness.  If I can't share that with others, what is the point?  So my challenge for this week (in addition to writing) is to be more positive in my attitude towards others.  How can you show others you are happy and in terms share it with them?

Nothing like Ironic, Hipster Moments to Kick You Into Gear

I am sitting in Starbucks.  I am drinking from my re-usable cup.  I am working.  I just read a satirical article about hipsters.  And damn it if I don't find the irony in that...

So this week is all about goals for me.  It's a slow work week and I'm giving myself a writing goal -- 3 posts this week: today, Wednesday and Friday.  So here goes.

I think for me, the biggest challenge of this blog has been just the vastness of it: I mean, what do I write about?  I know, I had a post listing things to write about earlier.  But for some strange reason, I've coupled reading and writing as "luxuries" in my life, to be enjoyed in small doses.  I even had to just stop myself to actively think "I am writing now.  I am enjoying this."  I worry so much about taking time for this pleasure in life that I scare myself away from even starting.  

I don't want to be that "mommy blogger" or "fitness blogger" or "life-style blogger".  I don't even like the title of blogger.  I want to be a writer. 

That word to me is much bigger and grander than "blogger".  Writer conjures images of Twain, Dickens, Austen and a time gone by when writing was an art.  Now, the written word is everywhere around us.  For me, there is no more luxurious joy than a book, blanket and cup of coffee.  Instead, the world is filled with books, magazines, newspapers, online content and WORDS!  I want to add to that, but something of meaning, something lasting, something to make someone, ANYONE stop and think and appreciate life for a moment.

I was sick last week and watched Back to School with Rodney Dangerfield.  In it, he quipped, "I watch the movie, I'm in and out in 2 hours."  The English professor corrected him in that in the book we create our own ideas and thoughts are are connected to the world around us.  That image resonated with me -- movies are great.  TV is great.  But books?  Books we can get lost in.  In a book, we decide what Harry Potter looks like.  As we read, we decide what Tom Sawyer sounds like.  In reading non-fiction, we assimilate the ideas into our own world view and broaden our horizons. 

So here's to finally settling into this blog.  It won't be organized, it will come together slowly.  But it will happen and my hope is lead to bigger things.

Here's to the written word!

So Much for Discipline...

I had every intention of writing at least once a week here... You know what they say about good intentions, right?

I am left with what to write about.  The last post was a listing of things to write about, but I don't know if I'm going to go back to that.  I want to wax philosophical on change.  I've spent nearly the last two years working on changing myself --- my body, my attitudes, my behavior, my habits.  Its no small coincidence that this change came after the birth of my daughter, my second child.  I had the same "gung-ho" attitude after my son was born, only to be derailed by a car accident when he was three.  But this time, there is something different.  And I realize that by saying that, I sound naive and hokey.  I'm not sure how to describe it or what has changed this time, but things are sticking better.  There are still a number of things I'm still working towards or even discovering that I'd like to work towards, but this positive trend has got me thinking all about change and how sometimes its for good, sometimes it sticks and sometimes it just goes out the window.

Which brings me back to my title for this post: if I truly care about this, shouldn't I be more disciplined in writing here at least once a week if not more?  I know I don't have an audience (yet, but hoping that may change...), but if this is just a glorified diary, why bother.  Moving forward, I need to make the time for this.  I enjoy writing, I enjoy reading and would like to think that somewhere between my two ears I have something worth sharing with the world.  For now, this blog will just have to do.

What is something that you find helps changes "stick"?

What Can Writing Do?

I created this blog as an experiment in writing.  I started it with the intention of practicing this craft of writing.  And a week later, I don't have much to show for it.  I sat with a tutoring student today describing how author's take great pains to choose the right word to convey a theme or tone for their work.  As I was telling her this, I thought about how I don't do that same thing.  I tend to rush through.  I tend to overly-simplify things.  If I'm to do justice with writing, I need to be more careful of choosing my words.  Which leads me to today's post title: What Can Writing Do?  At the end of the day, what does this blog accomplish?  I'm not writing policy for a nation, life-changing novels or some guru guide to life.  But its precisely that prospect that drives me to better my writing and keep doing it.  I may not scribe the English language's next great opus, but I can use words to get thoughts on paper.  I can write stories that may transport a reader to a place of joy.  I can pen my own life and experiences if not for just myself, but maybe for my children one day to read (and hopefully) appreciate.  So, what can writing do?  Writing can change both the author and the reader.  And I've had the pleasure of experiencing both sides of that beautiful relationship.  So, why do you write?